Today's Edition of "Extremely Bad Ideas"

Daily Caller: More than 600 people have signed “Expose Islam on Film,” which cordially requests Mel Gibson to “create a movie documenting the true nature of Islam and give it global distribution.” ... “By resisting extreme and voluminous criticism and persevering in the production & distribution of ‘The Passion of the Christ,’” the petition reads, “Mel Gibson has demonstrated that he has the courage, determination and financial resources required to undertake this project.” the signers of the petition want the movie to be as R-rated as possible: A full length feature film depicting Muhammad receiving and reciting suras, ordering the murders of poets who criticized him, sending out raids on innocent camel caravans and peaceful settlements, raping captive women, selling children into slavery, committing genocide and dictating extortion letters to kings and emperors will be a powerful weapon in the war of ideas

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One very simple question: Are you people out of your fucking minds?

Look, we all know you're that douchebag; the one who hangs out on Stormfront messaging boards and emails us chain letters about Sharia Law. You're the assclown who drops random non sequiturs about "how the ____ are destroying America" at an otherwise cordial lunch. If someone shares a legitimate concern about, say, immigration, you've got the uncanny ability to drop a generalization that takes it just far enough to make sure everyone feels uncomfortable.

"Great point, Jessica! I hate Mexicans too!"

And you know, I'll put up with this shit when it's just dealing with your ignorance, because hey - we've all got our fucked up pastimes. It's how we cope with selling 8 hours of our lives every day to the man for the luxury of continuing to eat. We may not like to admit it, but deep inside each of us is a disturbing, hilarious ball of crazy and the more money and free time we have, the more pronounced it gets. That little geeky kid Steve grows up to be Stephen, the accountant - with a full-room shrine dedicated to his favorite anime characters. Old lady Johnson's got a closet full of whips and weird lube.

trust me, you don't want to know. it would haunt your dreams.

The trick is, they at least try to keep that shit to themselves. Sure, Stephen might slip into a monologue about the nuances of deciding which Sailor Moon character is his favorite, but for the most part, people lock it out of the public sphere. And seriously consider the repercussions if that rule broke down: next time a random dumpy minivan mom chats you up about her kids, just think - instead of telling you about her son's baseball team, she could be sharing the story of why she started making Mandingo-themed vibrators.

Which brings us back to the douche at hand. Far worse than any of our hypothetical weirdos, this one is on a totally different level. Not only do they constantly break the "don't tell me about your unforgivable porn" corollary to the golden rule, but now they're actively trying to make all our lives worse.

he's not a comedian, he's a sadist

And it needs to be said: I get as weirded out as the next guy when I see huge cheering crowds of people that want to kill America. It's not a positive thing. When one ethnic group collectively calls us "The Great Satan," we've all gone pretty far here. I guess it was bound to happen eventually, considering major monotheistic religions tend to paint the others as "fundamentally evil" or at least fatally misled, but damn.

You know what made us get here a hell of a lot faster though? Shit like this. It's like these jackasses are trying to fix a wasp problem by jamming their heads into the nest and ramming it against a wall.

Here's an equally refined solution: Let's take an unabashedly racist dick and have him make a movie about Muhammad raping people and selling kids into slavery. Because that's probably the best way to deal with folks who answer insults with suicide bombing. A real quote by Mel Gibson, by the way, "You look like a f***ing bitch in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault."

i see no possible way this could end poorly

And to be clear, in no way do I think we should coddle extremists. Humanity has a duty to somehow nip that shit in the bud before it explodes out of our chest and starts dancing to showtunes. (Entertaining, yet fatal.) That said, something tells me that showing their object of quasi-worship putting the sensual into non-consensual isn't going to accomplish that.